Tuesday, January 9, 2018

I vogue in the rain

Today I vogued in the rain
without a jacket or 'brella
without caution or wind
I danced in you Tlaloc
like any tlaloque
faggot of the water
dew of the air.

I vogued for you
my family of the sea
ocean falling upon my face
a splash
a bust
a trickle of what I know is not a trick
but a memory
on monday
of my past when I as a little boy would bask in your radiance and create a dance for you to heal the earth mother from all the poison of oil and plastics that lay upon her flesh and in my bones.

I vogued in the rain today
Butch Queen Performance
Hands Performance
Butch Queen Vogue Like a Femme Queen Performance
and sum other stumble between al'that.

I cried today
thinking of those without my medicine
without water or food, medicine, that keep them alive
every 15 minutes hearing
Acquired immune deficiency is homicide
Acquired immune deficiency is homicide
Acquired immune deficiency is homicide.

Let Us Praise the Masters of Slow Death
I vogued for you
in the rain

In times of great sadness
it is only a blessing
to feel the tears of the eyes much bigger than my own
in a time of sickness
without compassion
I float in my wet body
I feel the water pass through skin
the drops
hit me
like the dew of sunlight
the the warmth of brown sugar
in forever condensation of sacred love
post love making.

I vogue for you
a cry
in the larger cry
in the larger Tlaloc
a blessing to the thirsty earth.
I walked for you
in performance in the rain
I walked for me
in a fierce bag and beat boots
I walked for us
a vogue to remember
that the cry is a release to feel the thirst of emotion that has been denied to us too long in this world of suffering and invalid segregation.


Monday, November 27, 2017

November 27th, 2017-- Blessings

It is another Monday, and I have have been very angry and overly confused at the fact that I have so much to do, and I am pretty sure it is impossible for me to do all the things that I need to do.. this comes from multiple levels of abuse coming my way, and and lack of support, due to graduate school, and myself, coming from a limited resource family. But more, I find myself wondering, and wondering, where should I go? What should I do? Why am I not having fun like other gays my age... I see so many of my friends having fun on weekends, while I continue to work, thinking that it is fun-relaxing research, but indeed, it is work beyond work beyond work. Many times I want to be something else, like a cute little guy that richer bigger guys take care of..... but that leads to levels of slavery and lost of personhood I cannot stand.
And so what?
I have learned that I yearn for that which I do not have. and because of that, I cannot have anything. More I am in bad mood, because I started in a place of loss, negativity, and desolation. And so, instead of that, I will focus on what makes me great, and happy.

I am so thankful that I have so many friends around the world. More I am so happy to be a part of the House of Lauren. They have been more than generous with their support of my research, and I am so happy that they love me and my work enough to support my continuance with it. I am thankful that I have a good chair and good advisors that try hard to support me. And I am thankful that I can reflect and express. At the end of the day, I love expressing myself, I love feeling myself, and I love being catalytic.

Perhaps that is who I am,
Cuauhtémoc Peranda
Father Dante Ome'Lauren
The Poet, Scholar, Dancer, Educator
The Glitter Shaman
The Catalysis

and I am thankful that I can redefine myself everyday!

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Gloria E. Anzaldúa, Happy Birthday, I love you

“The vision of radical Third World Feminism necessitates our willingness to work with those people who would feel at home in El Mundo Zurdo, the left-handed world: the colored, the queer, the poor, the female, the physically challenged. From our blood and spirit connections with these groups, we women on the bottom throughout the world can form an international feminism. For separatism by race, nation, or gender will not do the trick of revolution. Autonomy, however, is not separatism. We recognize the right and necessity of colonized peoples throughout the world, including Third World women in the U.S., forming independent movements toward self-government. But ultimately, we must struggle together. Together we form a vision which spans from the self-love of our colored skins, to the respect of our foremothers who kept the embers of revolution burning, to our reverence for the trees – the final reminder of our rightful place on this planet. The change evoked on these pages is material as well as psychic. Change requires a lot of heat. It requires both the alchemist and the welder, the magician and the laborer, the witch and the warrior, the myth-smasher and the myth-maker. Hand in Hand, we brew and forge a revolution.”
--Gloria E. Anzaldúa, El Mundo Zurdo: The Vision

Sunday, September 24, 2017

But is that a real story?

Cuauhtémoc: I'm really interested in 'what is a story? And, what qualifies a story, or storytelling, to be truth, or understood as history?'
The Glitter Shaman: Bitch! Even creation stories have creation stories!
Grandma Azúcar: I think what the Shaman was expressing, was the frustration we students have been having with "the school." Mi hij@z think truth es qué something we have not fabricated--but all receipts are recorded, made, reproduced, and stored, through some pinche flawed human methodologies. And, they always require careful translation and transcription in order to be shared. See mijo, I think your task isn't about truth at all, but a praxis of navigating dancing storytelling to produce transcriptions that are meaningful to those who are in need of that navigated knowledge, but do not have resources, honors, and credentials necessary to access the resources you so easily browse... También, be careful of your privileges mija...
The Glitter Shaman: Facts and alternative facts (lies), are all discourse, and are all chisme--and it all is glitter! It is important to acknowledge the creative bias that exists in all creation, but it is also gloriously necessary that you honor the differentiations and disidentifications in glitter.
Cuauhtémoc: Its like what a daughter of the Kiki House of Mona Lisa affirmed with me at the ball, "realness is first, everything starts with realness."

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Sweaty Hugs are Necessary in Extreme Heat

It was quite chilly last night. And today, I awoke refreshed! More, I seem to have regained much of the clairvoyance I had lost to confusion, and thus lamented all through the weekend for its return. It is something, a heavy something, to know that heat affect me so much. And, it's not an issue of having A/C, but more an issue of needing to be outdoors, and do work, without dripping into the hungry earth, or the sensitive laptop. The heat seems to compound anxieties, forcing fragility in action, leading to inaction, frustration, and morose contemplation. Such a process, so dire and deep, is hard to escape. Yet, somehow, acceptance of the grossness of it all, is how I made it through my time in a 2009 Northwestern Summer; and with the wisdom of contact improv (in all its sharing of sweat), I have found hugs to be the medicine I need to jolt me back from linear destruction. Of course, cool weather, mist, and Karl the Fog, always seem to do the trick as well.

Monday, July 24, 2017

You are not a failure

"Yes son, I see you are in a rough spot.
But, what has voguing taught you?
You are not a failure! How could you be?
Failure is but a poison of the white man to make you lessor.
To tell you, and make you believe, that your black skin is a failure to be white.
To force you to forget the erudite brilliance that is your African heritage.
To force me to die and my blood become the salt of the earth of the reservation.
No my son, we do not have to drink or smoke the white man's poison.
No my son, you are not a failure.
What has voguing taught you?
What has vogue taught you?
We do not dive to our death.
We but dip.
We but dip and bounce back.
What they have called the death drop is but a dip into hell to return with the grace and resilience of the divine.
What they have called the death drop is but a minor dip into hell, with a promise to return to strike and fly!
We are voguers.
We are voguers.
We know how to die and come back to life.
We know how to be asleep and woke.
You are not a failure.
You are not failing.
You are but dipping."

A message from The Glitter Shaman
Translated by P. Dante Cuauhtemoc Ome'Lauren

Friday, May 26, 2017

Queer Indigenous Vogue, Realness, and Fierceness: Dancing our selected kinships, and our resilience into being.

As a Ph.D. student, our research is who we are and what we are. For the time we are in the program, our research focus defines us--because it is not only our work, but how we work, what interests us, and predicts what our future can be. Here is a current snapshot, a current focus, of my research: 
Dissertation Abstract:
Queer Indigenous Vogue, Realness, and Fierceness: 
Dancing our selected kinships, and our resilience into being. 

My dissertation will focus on how Native Americans of the Western Hemisphere have deployed the dance form of vogue (voguing) as a method of decolonization, anti-colonialism, and resilience. Though the dance form of vogue was founded and stewarded by Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer (LGBTQ) Black and Latinx communities, I have observed Native Americans using the form to create their own kinships, as well as form political-artistic alliances with other queer peoples of color. My project will be to examine how queer Indigenous peoples, often self-called Two-Spirit (2S, 2spirit) people, have created their own families, kinship networks, and ceremonies (often due to being ostracized from their tribal communities, because of their sexual orientation or identity). Though in the past, some tribes revered 2spirit people, the project of British and Spanish imperial colonialism’s “heteronormative patriarchy” destroyed this cultural value for some tribes –which in turn has led to the extreme general mistreatment of LGBTQ2S peoples. Seeking family, and ways to offer their love, talents, and life, some Two-Spirit peoples have entered the spheres of “Imperial Drag Councils” (private societies in charge of drag balls and gay neighborhood cultural affairs), created “Two-Spirit Powwows”, and participated in “The Ballroom Scene” (where voguing is stewarded). Today, throughout the Western Hemisphere, Native American 2spirit people vogue to celebrate and openly proclaim both their queerness and the indigenous ancestry, while simultaneously protesting imperial heteronormative patriarchy.
In this project, I will focus on the Indigenous voguers (who I know personally and meet with often through the ballroom scene) of Canada, the United States, the Caribbean, and Mexico. My informants will include, but are not limited to: Omar Apocalipstic (Huichol), Sissy Prolific (Paiute), Legendary Overall Mother Amazon Leiomy (Taino), Waawaate Fobister (Anishinaabe), Felipe Rose (Lakota Sioux), and Landa Lakes (Chickasaw). To investigate how Native American LGBTQ2S are using vogue, and its ballroom scene, to create their own Indigenous kinship networks, I will conduct an intimate ethnography—which I define as a conglomeration of interviews and face-to-face participatory engagements to produce personal oral histories as evidence of vogue practice. To move deeper, and examine how Indigenous vogue produces new interpretations of “authentic American Indian” identity using drag and realness, I also plan to participate in vogue balls and 2spirit Powwows, to produce and analyze self-reflections, and conduct choreographic analysis of vogue performances. I will showcase, through digital ethnography, how 2spirit peoples use social media to create and sustain kinship networks. With review of queer history and 2spriti literature, I will better situate contemporary dance practices of 2spirit peoples, and how they have sustained their communities, and lives, through the continual project of colonialism. Lastly, I will demonstrate what forms of medicine vogue has produced through its gift of uniting LGBTQ2S American Indian peoples, and through its establishment of queer coalitions of color.

To date there are less than fifteen academic works that address voguing, and there are less than two articles that look at this culture and its ideologies from the lens of Indigenous studies. Little work on Indigenous dance directly address its efforts and struggle of queer coalition of color community building. Thus, this project expands on the work of these fields in by challenging, though synthesis, the borders of these fields of study that have been previously been established as discrete. In this unique way, I build on the generous and growing trend to recognize and remember the work of 2spirit people in sustaining the resilience of both their Indigenous communities, and the broader LGBTQ2S communities.