Wednesday, January 8, 2014


you disrespect me
with inconsiderate acts
yet love is patient

suffering cessation grows
our bond tight and fun
with eyes of passion

I'm not perfect but
I'm perfect for you 
choice is forever, I choose you.

I wrote this poem as a reflection of what I feel with my current loving relationship. The man with which I am currently involved, is very curious to me. I love him dearly, and as does he me, but how our actions of friendship-love-affection-relationship comes into expression and exploration almost never matched traditional roles of "boyfriends". 

{Well, then again, we don't call each other boyfriends--but we act like them, we think like them, and we work like them. I suppose, the label does not make sense yet BECAUSE we are not like others--and in that case, such a label will never work.} 

But whether we are boyfriends or not, the love and the relationship is true, even without society's normalized indicators. "How can you tell if your in a relationship, if you don't act like everyone else" is like asking "how can you tell if you are human, if you are black, and were brought up in an all white region of the world". The answer is, its difficult, because the truth is buried deep inside you--and in a relationship, its deep inside each partner; and more so, it is a choice. 

I was talking to a queer elder the other day, and we talked about my current relationship and his. For hours we talked about sex, love, relationships, sex with others, close relationships, psychology, society, marriage, and humanity. What he told me really made sense, which is:

"There is no such thing as the perfect partner, boyfriend, or husband--that is a myth--there are people, and there are people you are attracted to, in some way or another, with no real reason for it, you just like them or something about them--its human. No one man can satisfy everything you need, only you can do that for yourself. You choose to be in a relationship, That's it. Also, you have the choice to end it at anytime--even if you are married, even if even if--you always have a choice. It is that choice, to be together, between 2 people, that makes the relationship, noting more."

I think his words humanized the idea and praxis relationship, and de-romanticized it for me. It vanished from "being a pimp and having a lot of sex with all the twinks in the world" and destroyed "my prince in shinny armor, my princess that I will love forever, because we are meant to be married and live happily ever after"--his words exploded my paradigm which needed to crumble at the trust wisdom of a friend. And so, I wrote this poem. 

Every relationship has it's bad aspect, and each have their good. Perfection is fleeting, but friendship and compassion is eternal. 

I am happily in many loving relationships, most friendships, some artistic, some professional, some intellectual, some familiar, and one romantic--but these people I share a relationship with are all individuals, perfectly themselves, and I am accepting of this. 

Choice is forever.... Choice is forever... 

Te quiero mucho 


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