Antonio’s Monologue

Antonio’s Monologue

Sweet Sugar…. Azucar!!! A play by La Diva Cuauhtemoc

Antonio speaks to Sugar. She has just told him about Realness, a blessing from the spirit world. And of course, they were listening to Celia Cruz.

ANTONIO:

That Celia Cruz….you’re right Sugar. She was talking about you.

Realness…

[…]

What a difficult thing to understand:

I remember, when I was younger

A little boy--not now of course. But. When I was Rheel’ small.

I used to dream in HATRED, for myself…

I used to pray.

Every night. That I would be, smaller. To the point of invisibility…yeah. I remember.

[…]

I used to ask GOD, the creator, or whatever spirit would listen, to please change me, into; a small guy.

It seemed like everybody liked them. These, I know to call twinks.

{

…and everyone seemed to dislike me…

}

except, those weirdoes… they let me be their friend.

Every night I asked: “please, please god, turn me into a twink”. Over and over again.

And then. One night. he spoke to me.

“NO”

*I was scared as all I could be.

“NO, YOU ARE THE WAY I CREATED YOU, FOR A PURPOSE…IT IS YOUR CHALLENGE, IT IS YOUR BEAUTY. I WILL NOT CHANGE YOU”

Of course, when I heard that, I went to my covers, scared to think anything other than how WHITE my wall looked.

[…]

The next morning, I woke up rested. And I believed I was beautiful.

But it was a beauty no one could see. well, a few can.

I believed that God gave me this challenge because he knew I could…

That this would be my hardest thing for me to do throughout my life.

Overcome.

I don’t know I believe myself.

But you know, then, I did, then, accept myself…

It was then, that moment, I found my realness…

Yet, I didn’t know what that meant, until you.

End.