Monday, October 8, 2012


Why does it seem to me, that for a man to have emotional maturity, often means having a lack of emotional sensitivity, involvement, and attachment…….. This seems at odds for me, because, a mature and masterful artist, has exquisite emotional expertise, is finely sensitive, and is deeply involved and attached to all that he does, touches, and produces.  

I bring this up because a lot of “mature” gay guys, not necessarily in age, but in status and accomplishment, would be happy just fucking the next hot guy after the next, and never having to enter a deep emotional place. Many would just rather “have fun” and fuck around a lot, rather than create an emotional connection. Tasting every cunt and ass they can, experiencing life, and living in the luxury of the flesh.

This is quite unattractive to me, as I see maturity in a person being able to become a full artist—embodying the logic and chaos of life. Becoming almost an elemental of drama and peace—embodying love. This is being in their fierceness, this is sexiness.

But often, I feel, “suck it up”, and “get over it”, is a mantra for men. Possibly why most gay guys want to avoid emotion. “fuck hoes, make money” comes to mind…or perhaps, “fuck holes, make money”.

But doesn’t lead to an unfulfilled life? Does this lead to good relationships? No…
Then, those in relationships, must be fools in love, or the few emotionally mature ones out there….. or worse, the emotionally unattached, who see a relationship as something that betters them, and is following order and commands.

I do not have a solution for this….
This is where I am stuck…
How can we have relationships with men, when they are so unable to have relationship...
Perhaps we make better relationships with ourselves.
Perhaps we work with our family, with our blood, those relationships which are already established and mature.
Until, one comes along, and is open and ready to fly.
He may never come.
So then what?
Live a great life…
…this may not be the life we hoped for, but as long as we are here, we might as well dance…

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