I made this
realization the other day while at Gameboi (the gay Asian focused party
in sf, every 2nd saturday of the month). I was there, and I had a great
time, don't get me wrong. I wish I could have stayed longer, but I would
have turned into a pumpkin (or really have been on the bus/waiting for
one to get back to Mills/Oakland until 4am...not cute). However, I soon
found that this kind of place, this scene was not for me. Still, even
though the crowd, the music and the dancing was on point! (the drinks
were strong too! amazing! I actually got buzzed)
Yet. While there. I have to say. Inside. I realized this was not my place. That I had no need for this. And this was not any fun.
Sure people applauded me, and hit on me, and gave me hugs and offered me cigarettes for my fabulous-joyous self and dancing....I bring great joy while there, I feel I have to, it's what I do.....yet, this place was filled with people who seemed so empty, so self serving, so needy and so scared.....
It seemed that the people at this club, and it happens everywhere, in any club, go to the club to be noticed, to live, to show off the wealth, their shoes their clothes, their gym memberships, their friends, who they hook-up with, and what kind of drinks, seats they can get......all idealizing after this stripper, the body of sex and lust.....
(...maybe its the fact i have slept with strippers and models before, but I know that just because they have a rocking bod, and can move, does not mean they are good in bed, nor does it mean that they have a full personality, or person hood.... you definitely lose something when you go out on the pole like that, and stress so much about appearance and your body.....you lose a bit of your humanity, and to me, that is not sexy.....)
When I enter these clubs, I go there to get my drink (get buzzed, not drunk...drunk =frat party/El Boro's crib), get down and boogie, and maybe meet some people, hang with friends (I have none, so that doesn't usually happen...yeah that's right...i have no friends who like to go out with me...it's cool, whatever....they are lame and complain about how much they don't go out, and instead spend too much time on facebook reading this post....).
YET! People I see going to the club, go there to live, because it seems as though their other lives are death to them. In other words, they are not integrated in their bodies and lives. THEY WORK TO GO OUT...instead of going out to just go out....leaving work to be, on par with what they do outside of it.
These people I see make going out really hard and negative. Making it all so superficial and about appearances, and they spend so much time caring about these little 4 hours of party, making it seem like this is all that matters in life: HOW DO YOU CARRY YOURSELF IN THE CLUB, WHO YOU WITH? WHAT YOU ARE? WHO YOU GOING HOME WITH TONIGHT? It's really kinda silly.....
All of this, as separate from who they are in the "real" world. Yet, they don't see that how they act here, is who they are out there, and vise versa......
You may have a nice bod in the club, and play into people's fantasies that you have nice clothes, money, car, and time to go into the gym. But the reality is often the case that you are too busy for yourself, and anything more than 1 hour of a hook-up is too much....you just need to feel special in the club, because you are not happy in your real life....
scary stuff....
"...you just need to feel special in the club, because you are not happy (or feel special) in your real life...."
in my opinion, this is really gross......
There is no problem with coming to the club, looking cute, and feeling cute, and being cute and just being happy. But when bitchy comes to shove, it's not cute, and you have just lost all that you could be.....
You essentially become a club-douche-asshole-bitch-prick.....or some other word that is that specific....and many people are guilty of this....
But the artist, feels special. Life is his or her art. they are integrated. they are happy. and so when they go to the club. there is not need to feel special...and thus the hard times.........
...when a club is built around a culture of people who need to feel special, those who are happy and are already feel special, feel out of place, and are ostracized, yet embraced at the same time......they are the shining light, they are the ones to exclude.....
the Jesus story--he was wonderful, so people loved him, and hated him....
Happens all the time, just cuz you are happy and kind, doesn't mean people will be nice to you, they may kill you.....(strange i know)....
Now the tragic artist, he goes to the bar, and feels tragic, and drinks himself back home....its a different story, but, he goes there not to feel special, but to numb himself of his arts, of life, cuz its hard to deal with it all sometimes.....to be un-integrated is nice, and so the whiskey comes into play...hehe...
but I digress......
For me as an artist. I am happy. I have no need to come into a culture to feel good. my outside life of dance and scholarship is lovely. and i can only think of dancing more and more and more....so to come into a place that says "you must look this way, act this way etc.....to be happy" I get really confused....cuz I'm good the way I am.....do not colonize me.....
It's all so funny....really it is...but that is life.....
Now the question is, if i do not need the club, what do i do on saturday night?
HOUSE PARTY
CHILL WITH FRIENDS
FREE DANCE
JAM
CHILL
EAT
DATE
SEX
SEE MORE ART
LEARN SCIENCE
DISCOVER POLITICS
PLAN TO HELP THOSE IN NEED
BE PRODUCTIVE
GO TO A BALL
SLEEP
HANG OUT AND DO NOTHING
FACEBOOK
AND GO OUT AND DANCE--this is clubbing....but in the sense of not participating in the atmosphere, going to the whitehorse for instance and just chilling.....dancing, not going for the people, sex, scene, culture, but for the freedom and the kinestisia....a RAVE could be like this....
I think the definition of this club-culture bullshit is a circuit party.....but that is for a dissertation....
...I don't think it is bullshit, but just very interesting, and something for which I have no interest...expect as an anthropologist ..
And all of this is written to say:
Please reconsider why you go to the club. And please stop acting so stupid there. Have fun!
"don'g be a drag, just be a queen"---except most people don't know how to be Queens
I DO!!!!
so umm, yeah.........
BUTCH QUEEN!!!!
Yet. While there. I have to say. Inside. I realized this was not my place. That I had no need for this. And this was not any fun.
Sure people applauded me, and hit on me, and gave me hugs and offered me cigarettes for my fabulous-joyous self and dancing....I bring great joy while there, I feel I have to, it's what I do.....yet, this place was filled with people who seemed so empty, so self serving, so needy and so scared.....
It seemed that the people at this club, and it happens everywhere, in any club, go to the club to be noticed, to live, to show off the wealth, their shoes their clothes, their gym memberships, their friends, who they hook-up with, and what kind of drinks, seats they can get......all idealizing after this stripper, the body of sex and lust.....
(...maybe its the fact i have slept with strippers and models before, but I know that just because they have a rocking bod, and can move, does not mean they are good in bed, nor does it mean that they have a full personality, or person hood.... you definitely lose something when you go out on the pole like that, and stress so much about appearance and your body.....you lose a bit of your humanity, and to me, that is not sexy.....)
When I enter these clubs, I go there to get my drink (get buzzed, not drunk...drunk =frat party/El Boro's crib), get down and boogie, and maybe meet some people, hang with friends (I have none, so that doesn't usually happen...yeah that's right...i have no friends who like to go out with me...it's cool, whatever....they are lame and complain about how much they don't go out, and instead spend too much time on facebook reading this post....).
YET! People I see going to the club, go there to live, because it seems as though their other lives are death to them. In other words, they are not integrated in their bodies and lives. THEY WORK TO GO OUT...instead of going out to just go out....leaving work to be, on par with what they do outside of it.
These people I see make going out really hard and negative. Making it all so superficial and about appearances, and they spend so much time caring about these little 4 hours of party, making it seem like this is all that matters in life: HOW DO YOU CARRY YOURSELF IN THE CLUB, WHO YOU WITH? WHAT YOU ARE? WHO YOU GOING HOME WITH TONIGHT? It's really kinda silly.....
All of this, as separate from who they are in the "real" world. Yet, they don't see that how they act here, is who they are out there, and vise versa......
You may have a nice bod in the club, and play into people's fantasies that you have nice clothes, money, car, and time to go into the gym. But the reality is often the case that you are too busy for yourself, and anything more than 1 hour of a hook-up is too much....you just need to feel special in the club, because you are not happy in your real life....
scary stuff....
"...you just need to feel special in the club, because you are not happy (or feel special) in your real life...."
in my opinion, this is really gross......
There is no problem with coming to the club, looking cute, and feeling cute, and being cute and just being happy. But when bitchy comes to shove, it's not cute, and you have just lost all that you could be.....
You essentially become a club-douche-asshole-bitch-prick.....or some other word that is that specific....and many people are guilty of this....
But the artist, feels special. Life is his or her art. they are integrated. they are happy. and so when they go to the club. there is not need to feel special...and thus the hard times.........
...when a club is built around a culture of people who need to feel special, those who are happy and are already feel special, feel out of place, and are ostracized, yet embraced at the same time......they are the shining light, they are the ones to exclude.....
the Jesus story--he was wonderful, so people loved him, and hated him....
Happens all the time, just cuz you are happy and kind, doesn't mean people will be nice to you, they may kill you.....(strange i know)....
Now the tragic artist, he goes to the bar, and feels tragic, and drinks himself back home....its a different story, but, he goes there not to feel special, but to numb himself of his arts, of life, cuz its hard to deal with it all sometimes.....to be un-integrated is nice, and so the whiskey comes into play...hehe...
but I digress......
For me as an artist. I am happy. I have no need to come into a culture to feel good. my outside life of dance and scholarship is lovely. and i can only think of dancing more and more and more....so to come into a place that says "you must look this way, act this way etc.....to be happy" I get really confused....cuz I'm good the way I am.....do not colonize me.....
It's all so funny....really it is...but that is life.....
Now the question is, if i do not need the club, what do i do on saturday night?
HOUSE PARTY
CHILL WITH FRIENDS
FREE DANCE
JAM
CHILL
EAT
DATE
SEX
SEE MORE ART
LEARN SCIENCE
DISCOVER POLITICS
PLAN TO HELP THOSE IN NEED
BE PRODUCTIVE
GO TO A BALL
SLEEP
HANG OUT AND DO NOTHING
AND GO OUT AND DANCE--this is clubbing....but in the sense of not participating in the atmosphere, going to the whitehorse for instance and just chilling.....dancing, not going for the people, sex, scene, culture, but for the freedom and the kinestisia....a RAVE could be like this....
I think the definition of this club-culture bullshit is a circuit party.....but that is for a dissertation....
...I don't think it is bullshit, but just very interesting, and something for which I have no interest...expect as an anthropologist ..
And all of this is written to say:
Please reconsider why you go to the club. And please stop acting so stupid there. Have fun!
"don'g be a drag, just be a queen"---except most people don't know how to be Queens
I DO!!!!
so umm, yeah.........
BUTCH QUEEN!!!!
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